“Worth It” (draft 2)

questionin’ my worth
durin’ unstable times
and uncertain worlds
wonderin’ if i’m actually worth
all the work
but every word
just seems to escape me
answers hide
and i
go seek
but it’s like
we speak
in broken languages
now, how can i manage dis-
cussions i can’t even decipher?
then again, how can i give up
when i never gave in?
how do i know
if i don’t even try first?

____________________

04/23/2009, 1:56 p.m.

all i know is i keep askin’ myself why i hurt
this bad
re-examinin’ mirrors of what i had
only to realize what i don’t
seems like moments were stolen
then, replaced with something less golden
damn
must’ve chosen the path less travelled
and i’m watchin’ it all unravel
in the palm of my hands
hopin’ to catch the sands of time
so i can refill my glass with hours
or maybe somehow rewind
mistakes i didn’t have to make
actions i didn’t have take
oh no, ’cause now i just taste
bittersweet kisses
Reality left, like checks, on my cheeks
said, all i see is a diminished
part of a slide show
i guess Legend was right
’cause that life
seems like a dream to me
seems like i should’ve seen
shit comin’
too bad i was too busy numbin’
myself stupid
too dumb & too foolish
to add up the sum
before some became none
and nothing became now